Welcome to our introductory guide about Gottman Couples Therapy, a method that revolutionized the practice of couples counseling by being the first to combine scientific research and thousands of clinical trials. Gottman Couples Therapy, devised by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, seeks to help couples build relationships that are more happy and long-lasting. In this post, we’re going to explore everything you need to know about Gottman Couples Therapy, including its history, the fundamental principles of this therapy and its effectiveness.
History of Gottman Couples Therapy
Gottman Couples Therapy got its start in 1975, when Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson approached the study of emotion from the psycho-physiological perspective and from a video-based methodology. They were introduced to Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen’s Facial Affect Coding System (FACS) and Dr. Gottman subsequently developed his own system called the Specific Affect Coding System (SPAFF). This led to further development of time-series analysis for the measurement of the sequence of interaction data, thereby refining the observational methodology used in the Gottman lab.
In 1986, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues built a research facility they dubbed “The Love Lab,”1 offering them the means to look at couples’ interactions in a homelike setting. It was crucial to the development of the Gottman Method, allowing strenuous assessments of all the new ways the team entered into studying relationships and the approach to therapy they were developing.
Dr. Gottman co-founded The Gottman Institute in 1996 with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman2. He created the institute to bring his research to the world. The institute continues to grow in its understanding of relationships and couples therapy through ongoing research. The history of Gottman Couples Therapy reflects the power of scientific research to enhance our understanding of human relationships. Its evolution over time demonstrates a deep commitment to evidence-based practice and to the betterment of relationship satisfaction and longevity3.
Fundamentals of Gottman Couples Therapy
Gottman Couples Therapy is founded on the principle that it's essential to strike a balance between work and play in couples' everyday lives. Dr. John Gottman has contributed groundbreaking work that represents essential principles for helping couples create durable, harmonious relationships through such achievements as "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," which include guideline such as:
- Build Love Maps: Partners are encouraged to understand each other's world in detail, including likes, dislikes, hopes, and dreams.
- Nurture Fondness and Admiration: This principle focuses on noticing and expressing respect and appreciation to each other.
- Turn Towards Instead of Away: This means to react positively to each other's bids for attention, conversation, and connection so that you develop emotional support.
- Let Your Partner Influence You: This is synonymous with mutual respect and allowing your partner to influence the relationship, express opinions, and be included in decision-making.
- Solve Your Solvable Problems: Learn and plan for addressing conflicts that can be easily resolved and address them through communication and compromise.
- Overcome Gridlock: Couples will learn to handle perpetual issues that no matter how many times they've been conflicted, should not come between you and your partner to understand underlying feelings and values.
- Create Shared Meaning: Couples are guided to build a sense of shared purpose, values, and rituals that reflect their shared life vision4.
These principles are designed to help couples improve their communication, deepen their emotional connection, and manage conflicts more effectively. They form the foundation of the Gottman Method and are integrated into the therapeutic process to help couples build healthier, more satisfying relationships.
Effectiveness of Gottman Couples Therapy
The effectiveness of Gottman Couples Therapy is supported by extensive research, with studies indicating significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and conflict management skills6. Gottman's research is known for its ability to predict with over 90% accuracy which couples will divorce and which will stay together, based on certain interaction patterns observed in the "Love Lab"5.
The Gottman Method has been effective for various types of couples, including those facing significant challenges such as infidelity, financial stress, and communication breakdowns. It has also been adapted to meet the needs of couples from diverse economic, racial, sexual orientation, and cultural backgrounds, making it a versatile tool for relationship counseling4.
It's a very structured and goal oriented method, filled with interventions and exercises that help couples strengthen their relationship. Couples often learn how to:
- Replace negative conflict patterns with positive ones.
- Heal the hurts that they've experienced in the past.
- Increase their intimacy, empathy, and understanding with each other within the relationship
This combination of adaptability and demonstrable results makes The Gottman Method an invaluable resource for partners looking to improve their relationship and for therapists seeking an evidence-based guide for their practice5.
Conclusion
Gottman Couples Therapy offers a research-based, structured approach to strengthening relationships, with an emphasis on building a culture of admiration, turning toward bids for emotional connection, the acceptance of influence, and solving solvable and coping with unsolvable conflicts. The therapy's principles and interventions are designed to remove barriers to healthy emotional communication, encourage relationship-building and rebuilding, and foster insight and increased empathy2. With its adaptability and track record of success, the Gottman Method is a valuable resource for couples at any stage of their relationship, and for counselors seeking techniques anchored in scientific evidence.
FAQ Section
How is Gottman Couples Therapy different from other forms of couples counseling?
Gottman Couples Therapy is different because it is based on over four decades of research and allows the therapist to assess the couple's strengths and weaknesses and integrates the research-based Sound Relationship House Theory into a therapeutic framework that provides clinical interventions for couples[1].
Can Gottman Couples Therapy be beneficial for a marriage or long-term relationship that is facing serious issues?
Gottman Couples Therapy has been shown to be effective for couples whether they are facing financial stress, infidelity, or communication breakdown. It is designed for usage regardless of a couple's race, culture, sexual orientation, or economic circumstances8.
How can a couple begin to implement Gottman Couples Therapy teachings in their own relationship or marriage?
Couples familiar with the teachings in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work can start there. There are also a host of resources such as books, workshops, or online tools like the Gottman Relationship Checkup which can guide this learning process and provide concrete exercises and information for these couples to work with9.
Are the principles and tools that this therapy utilizes just as effective for couples in less traditional relationships?
The Gottman Method has been tested on and shown to be effective in treating couples across class, racial, and cultural lines and among same-sex couples5.
What resources are available for couples or therapists interested in learning more about the Gottman Method?
For couples, there are plenty of resources available through The Gottman Institute in many different formats, including books like The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, The Art and Science of Love workshop, and the Gottman Relationship Checkup online; and for therapists there are resources including professional training, certification programs, and The Gottman Institute puts out research all the time, so there are always updated resources (The Gottman Institute).
Sources:
[1] https://www.gottman.com/about/research/
[2] https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-the-gottman-method-of-relationship-therapy/
[3] https://www.regain.us/advice/general/what-is-the-gottman-method-and-how-effective-is-it-in-relationship-counseling/
[4] https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/
[5] https://www.flourishpsychology.ca/post/gottmans-principles-of-making-marriage-work
[6] https://www.gottman.com/about/research/effectiveness-of-gottman-method/
[7] https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-gottman-method-5191408
[8] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6037577/
[9] https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/
